Descend into the Maelstrom

It’s time to grow up, Democrats.

Politics is made up of the most foul types of animal waste known to this earth.  When the race is for the U.S. presidency, the stink is that much worse, and it comes and goes like a violent, rotten breeze traveling to and fro from Washington, D.C. to defile every other part of the country in its wake.  Festering in the blood, guts, feces, and other inedible parts swirling at the drain of the presidential election slaughterhouse are those most vested in the process: the candidates, their campaign staff, the press corps, and the few citizens out there who give a damn.  Regardless of who ultimately wins, the shit inevitably stains everyone, on both the right and  the left.

So let’s not pretend that running for president is a game of canasta.   It’s a largely mindless decathlon of events spanning over 22 months in this particularly silly 2007-08 season, where the only pleasantries are fake, the issues and platforms come a distant second to the soul-crushing horse-race aspects of the campaign, and half-lies are the closest we will ever get to the truth.  As far as the never ending horror story of this un-Democratic party primary season goes, the only thing worse than the nominee being decided by a pile of 800 party hacks, instead of the uninformed masses of primary voters they may or may not have been elected to represent, is the prospect of having the decision come down to a protracted legal battle at the convention in August.

Here is how absurd the situation is: because neither Obama nor Clinton can technically gain the number of delegates needed to win their pathetic party’s nomination, the mob of 800 "superdelegate" Democrats will step in and decide the outcome because they can vote however they choose.  The party came up with this outrageous concept in the 1980’s specifically to go against the will of the people in case one of the establishment’s own darlings was beaten in the state primaries and caucuses by a beltway outsider.  Of course, overturning the will of the voters is Clinton’s only hope to survive the race, and she is clinging onto it for dear life as she has fallen impossibly far behind in delegates.  Her reasoning is that superdelegates should all enter a brain-dead state of hypnosis and repeat the following: "Although Obama has won more states and more delegates, only I can beat the Republicans come fall.  Although Obama has won more…"  Unfathomably, over 250 superdelegates have chosen to stay nestled in the Clinton pantsuit.  If they’re not hypnotized, they’re morons.

The vital role of superhacks isn’t the only morally questionable aspect of the long road to the nomination.  The Clinton team is trying to seat the Florida and Michigan delegates through some brand of legal wrangling despite the fact that those states’ primaries were nullified by the party for moving their contests too early in the year without the DNC blessing.  Both campaigns agreed to the fateful arrangement.  Neither candidate campaigned in those states.  Obama wasn’t even on the ballot in Michigan.  Of course, Clinton won the ghost ballot in both states, and her people are now questioning how DARE anyone challenge those results and disenfranchise millions of wonderful voters? 

Finally: forget the issues, because they don’t matter.  The economy, the war in Iraq, nuclear weapons, health care, terrorism, and global warming: t-h-e-y-d-o-n-o-t-m-a-t-t-e-r.  The focus has been entirely on the blather since Obama and Clinton became the frontrunners thanks to our penchant for the wholesale consumption of useless information, and the fact that they agree on everything.  Several thousand, easy.  That’s the number of articles that have been wasted in the last 3 months on the following topics.  I’ve read many of them.

Hillary Clinton:
a)  She’s a woman, and all the related wonders.
b)  She’s been "vetted."
c)  She can fight.
d)  She used to be first lady.  She’s been through some crises.
e)  When it’s hard to get up in the morning, she cries.
f)  Her husband’s sexual escapades are none of your business.
g)  Her husband likes media attention and caused her to lose votes.
h)  She’s ready to be Commander-in-Chief on Day One?
i)  Blue-collar white people vote for her.
j)  Hispanics like her.
k)  Clintonite Geraldine Ferraro said Barack only has a shot because he’s black.
l)  She lied about running from sniper fire in Bosnia to make herself seem tough and experienced too.
m) She ran out of money because she didn’t know how to fundraise on the Internet at first.
n)  She thought she was inevitable until Obama jolted her in January and February.
o)  She set up a firewall in Texas and Ohio.
p)  She set up another firewall in Pennsylvania, where most of the Democratic establishment supports her and voters are white and blue-collar.
q)  The media has been unfair to her.
r)  If the White House phone rings at 3 a.m. and "something is going on in the world," pee your pants if Hillary doesn’t pick up.
s)  Delegate math sucks.

Barack Obama:
a)  Is he Muslim?
b)  He’s black, or half-black, and all the related wonders.
b)  His middle name is Hussein and the rest of it is funny too.
c)  His pastor said some nasty things about whites and America.
d)  He doesn’t  have experience.
e)  He’s a great speaker but can he lead?
f)  Young people think he’s, like, cool.
g)  His economic adviser said that Obama’s NAFTA comments were just politics.
h)  His foreign policy adviser called Clinton a monster.
i)  He raised a ton of money on the Internet.
j)  Black people vote for him.  But do hispanics mistrust him?
k)  Rich people vote for him.
l)   His friend and fundraiser, Tony Rezko, is a criminal sleazeball.
m) Is he going to stumble?
n)  Is he really post-racial?
o)  Could he possibly win Texas or Ohio or Pennsylvania?
p)  Can he stand up to the scary Republicans?
q)  His wife says stuff.
r)  The media have been unfairly biased for him.
s)  Can he get enough superdelegates?

With this noise in the background playing endlessly on television and in print, the nominee will emerge bloodied, battered, and bruised, while McCain is taking long naps, planning wars, raising money and traveling the world to raise his profile.

GOOD.  The fact that this primary process is turning historically ugly and disgusting is an excellent sign for Democrats.  That’s because it’s obvious that Obama will win the nomination, whether it is in April through a shocking, graceful Clinton exit, or in August at a chaotic convention in Denver fraught with legal challenges, food fights, and drunken super-riots.  Let’s be honest.  The contest was really already over in February when Obama won 11 straight primary contests, followed by the win in Texas.  The rest of this nonsense has been a charade, an overtime period after one side has already won the game.  Yes, Obama may emerge with scabs and scars, perhaps even missing a tooth or two as the Clinton machine continues to hammer at him.  To that I say:  That which does not kill you, can only make you stronger.  This is what politics is all about, baby!  Jump into that sewer, do the backstroke and enjoy it!  Clinton is serving the important role of toughening Obama up for McCain.  By getting his dirty laundry out now, come the end of the so-called primary season America will already know what all of Obama’s weaknesses are.  Obama will have developed answers to dealing with them.

The question as to when the Obama primary contest ends, and the Obama national campaign begins, is just a matter of opinion.  In McCain’s mind, as well as mine, Obama is already the Democratic candidate.  Unfortunately for McCain, the A.D.D.-addled media isn’t paying any attention to him yet.  Which is just as well for his opponent, who simply needs to parry the jabs long enough to survive in the coming months.

Mark my words: Obama’s ideal scenario is playing out.  If the Dems fight a protracted battle until August, so much the better.  The shorter the national battle, the better.  August to November is the perfect window of time for Obama to crush McCain.  The Republicans will be tougher to defeat than Hillary, because their gloves will be off all the time without any pretension of pleasantry and there will be real policy differences and real fear and hatred.  Which is all good.  I don’t want President Obama to take the oath of office in January until having survived some licks from the right, including a few tear-inducing shots below the belt. 

A break from politics.  Both to maintain my sanity and yours, and also to keep my loyal readers happy.  I think this is an interesting subject and I want to hear your opinions about an inexplicable phenomenon.

One of the coolest things about Youtube, in my opinion, is that you can easily spend an entire Saturday afternoon watching a smorgasbord of music videos without having to spend a single cent, on demand, whenever you want it.  I can look up my favorite bands, live concert footage, or even wander into international territory and pick up Arabic, Hindi, or Tamil songs that I grew up listening to.  You can let the music play in the background while doing something else, such as homework or, as I’m doing now, writing something.  In an hour you can listen to 10 different songs of 10 entirely different styles.

Or you can listen to the same song over and over and over again in an endless loop.  I often do this when I fall in love with a song for the first time.  But at some point it becomes a bit unreasonable to not want to listen to anything else but the same song, right?  I am going through this right now.  For well over a month, possibly close to two months, I have been playing the same song on youtube non-stop and not really listening to any other music at home.  It’s called "Wait and Bleed: Original Cut" by a thrasher band from Iowa called Slipknot.  Here’s the link, if you care to watch the video that I have probably played 300 times in the recent past: Wait and Bleed by Slipknot.

I’ll be the first to admit the following:

1) It’s a good song, not a great song.  If you’re over 35, you probably think it’s just a lot of noise.
2) Slipknot is energetic, but not a great band.  In fact I only know three of their songs, including Wait and Bleed.
3) The gimmick- 8 dudes who wear scary masks and jumpsuits while singing or playing instruments, loses its luster in perhaps 10 minutes.
4) The lyrics make no sense besides being an intense display of anger.  The main refrain that is oft-repeated, "I felt the hate rise up in me/ Kneel down and clear the stone of leaves/ I wander out where you can’t see/ inside my shell I wait and bleed." can be seen to have some deeper meaning that truly connects with someone’s soul.  Or you could look at it from my point of view: I don’t get it, don’t really identify with it, except perhaps the bit about pent-up anger felt by adolescents and those of us on extended adolescence well into their 30’s.
5) The video is entertaining- the masked dudes beating the crap out of one another, the crowd going apeshit- but not enough to watch repeatedly without getting bored of it.  Right?

So I am trying to dig deeper into WHY.  This piece is an effort toward that end.  If you’re a psychologist and have something to say, I’m listening.

To be honest, I don’t feel enough anger in daily life to connect with the passion in the song, which I am guessing must be rooted in some sort of childhood trauma.  Certainly nobody in my life has done anything to me, nor have I self-flagellated myself enough to cause this anger.  And in fact, I don’t feel anger when listening to the song.  It calms me down.  While it’s true my favorite band, Rage Against the Machine, is known for its unrivaled passion for the music and political causes, Slipknot does not even come near that category.  Yet I haven’t listened to a Rage song in several months.

Obviously I do connect to the melody.  The singer has a range- from sing-song, high voice to unadulterated yelling and screaming.  One must admit that he’s got real talent, as is evidenced by his singing on other Slipknot songs as well as in another band, Stone Sour. 

I think the masks are cool.  They tell the audience a bit about each musician’s personality, because they are custom-made to their preferences.  Their personality is admirable, because they are out there in outlandish attire that few people, musicians or otherwise would be willing to perform in.  They don’t seem to care what people think- an individuality that I have always respected.  On the other hand, musical critics have pointed out the more cynical view: that the masks are a cheap marketing gimmick.

In my soul-searching I have come up with an explanation I believe is more compelling.  I believe that Wait and Bleed, as much as perhaps any song, makes me feel good about rock and roll, about America, and even myself.  Here are 8 dudes from the midwest, who probably came from a place similar to the midwestern towns I lived in, who developed a clownish personality, real musical talents, and decided at a young age that their purpose in life would be to ROCK.  In my opinion most recent popular music is horrible, especially in two American genres I truly care about, hip hop and rock.  Music has been corrupted by an industry that wants to churn out ten trashy pop-tart hits a year written in record company meeting rooms by clueless executives.  A band like Slipknot comes along and gives the executives the middle finger with an organic sound that the young people can relate to.  And they are continuing to tour and make good music. 

On the other hand, do I simply listen because there is no explanation for some things?  Is it possible that one doesn’t ever know why an idea pops into your head, why you feel like ordering #13 on the Chinese takeout menu today instead of #6, why you chose to wear the red tie on any given morning, and why I picked tea instead of coffee this morning?  Did God put each of these ideas in our heads for a reason, as part of his larger master scheme? 

I’m not sure how long I’ll continue listening to Wait and Bleed.  Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and not feel like hearing it ever again.  And maybe I’ll never find out why I had a temporary Wait and Bleed fetish for several months of my life at age 28.